Monday, September 21, 2009

Judgement Calls

I've been thinking about the judgements that are passed in life.

I pass judgements way too much, I will admit that first and foremost. It's something I've been working on and praying about.

What I've been thinking about is why do people pass judgements. Is it because they feel superior or because they want to feel superior? Is it to be "cool" or fit in? I don't know. Since I've been spending time thinking about this I've been looking at the times I make judgements and I think I make them when I'm feeling defensive. If I feel like I'm (my person, my family, my way of life) being attacked or wrongly persecuted I'm more apt to make a negative judgement about the person/entity making the judgement.

I've also noticed that I make more judgements about my family and people close to me than I do about others. Writing that makes me feel horrible. Do other people do that? Why do I think it is ok to be cruel, which is what it is, to my family, to people that I love and to be accepting of the faults of my friends and perfect strangers? If anything I would think it would be the opposite. Questions I've been asking myself: Do I take my family for granted? Do I think they will always be there no matter what? Is it ok to be hurtful when I've been hurt? How do I let go of the things in my life that make me pass judgements. I'm going to try to make it a week where I let go and stop making judgements.

Sunday, September 20, 2009

18 Months Old

G on her Zebra.
(Sells for $40+ in stores, we got it for $10 at a consignment store!!!)

Dear G,

Today you are 18 months old. One and a half years old. I can't believe it. You have grown up so fast, especially the last few weeks. You learn several new things each day and love to show your newly acquired skills off. At each stage of your life I think I can never love it more or have more fun with you, but I do, every day. You are so cute and sweet and caring. Daddy and I love you more each day and are so thankful to have you in our lives. You are amazing.

Weight: 21lbs 4.0z

Height 30 1/2

You are still wearing a size 3 diaper!

  • You are wearing 12 month sized clothing.
  • You took a sip of a juice box 1 time! (other than that you only drink water or breast milk)
  • You love to have your nails cut/trimmed/filed painted.
  • You LOVE shoes.
  • You LOVe to shop.
  • You are climbing on EVERYTHING. We got you a new step stool and you carry it around everywhere. The reason we bought you one is because you were carrying around your booster seat, yellow chair and wooden foot stool everywhere.
  • You help me change K's diaper and are very good at it! You can take her diaper off, wipe her and close the tabs on the new diaper.
  • You are trying to dress yourself. You can put on shorts and pants all by yourself!!!
  • You will not wear anything unless you want to or you choose it. If Daddy or I choose something and you don't want it you take it and put it back (or depending on your mood throw yourself on the floor and cry)
  • You love to read books, ride on your new Zebra toy and play in your kitchen. You also love to help Mommy in her kitchen.
  • You refuse to sit in a highchair or a booster seat--you want to sit or stand in a regular seat.
  • You have not been eating a lot for the past week and this makes Mommy worried--but apparently it is a common toddler trait.
  • You are sleeping in your own bed, in your own room with Cody each night. I still miss having you in our bed, but am happy you love your bed.
  • Daddy puts you to sleep each night, and lately you've been going to him when it is your bedtime.
  • You are becoming more outgoing and less shy. You played with your kindermusic teacher and class Thursday night.
  • You stayed in the MOPS nursery again--this time in the big kids (1 year old class) though you cried when I left you, you did great the entire time--playing and having snack with the other kids. I got to watch you for a little while when I went to pick you up and you were walking around and playing happily.
  • You stayed with your first non family member and did great. It was with Ms. P & her daughter M, who is the same age as you.
  • You throw tantrums!
  • You LOVE to play with the B's kids when we babysit them each day! You especially love E, and let her pick you up, feed you and play with her.
  • You are talking more each day and repeat words that anyone says!
  • You understand everything anyone says.
  • You are still nursing and we both still LOVE it!

G & Cody sleeping. Notice their legs :)

Saturday, September 19, 2009

Dr. Love

Some pictures of the Dr. Love, the girls & I.

I wanted Dr. Love to hold both the girls at once, but G wasn't having it:

Dr. Love, G and I at my 2 week appt after she was born:





Friday, September 18, 2009

Scary Moments

Last night our Angel Monitor went off around 1:30 am. I put my hand on K and it stopped but as soon as I took it off the alarm sounded again. I turned on the bassinet light to check on K, and she was a little purplish. I immediately got up with her and she was fine, but what a scary moment. We used the Angel Monitor with G for the first 6 months of her life and it never went off (unless we picked her up and forgot to turn it off). Last night was our first experience of it actually going off for a reason. Having the alarm go off last night was well worth the cost of it (though ours was a gift). We don't know what would have happened had the alarm not gone off, but Thank God that it did.
Graco Angelcare Movements Sensor with Sound Monitor
While it may seem that your baby is perfectly still when she is sleeping, she really isn't. Our Movement Sensor with Sound Monitor detects your baby's slightest movements, even while she sleeps. An alarm will sound alerting you to check your baby ONLY if she becomes absolutely still for 20 seconds and no movement whatsoever is detected. The under-the-mattress Sensor Pad detects your baby's slightest movements and sends the signal to the Nursery Unit. The Nursery Unit sounds an alarm ONLY if no movement is detected for 20 seconds. It also transmits all other nursery sounds and has a Movement Indicator Light showing if movement is being detected. The Parents' Unit receives the alarm and all other nursery sounds. The Angelcare Movement Sensor will give you the peace of mind you won't get from just a sound monitor or even a video monitor. And, this monitor is an excellent value. It is 2 monitors in 1 so you don't have to purchase a sound monitor.

I talked to Dr. Mommy Love and a friend who is an ENT today and they both seem to think the reason Mary Faith stopped breathing has to do with her reflux. To be clear we don't actually know if she stopped breathing or was just having difficulty, etc, but whatever happend the sensor didn't detect any movement from her for 20seconds and her coloring was off for the first few seconds I had her.

The girls both have appts with Dr. Mommy Love on Tuesday so barring any other episodes we'll be talking to her more about it then.

I've always felt reassured by the monitor but after last night I think it is something that all new parents should have.

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Oh What Busy Days...

I can't believe it's been over a week since I've updated. I always think of things I want to update on and then either forget or don't have the time or energy to update.

Both of the girls are about to hit big age milestones, until next month anyway ;) G will be 18 months on 9/20 and K will be 2 months on 9/22. They are exactly 16 months and 2 days apart.

G is growing by leaps and bounds these days. It seems like each day she is doing something new or different. She is like a sponge, soaking up everything and anything around her. It's amazing to witness.

K is also growing and growing and growing. She love to nurse and I've had to pack away some of her newborn clothes. Soon they'll all be put up. It's bittersweet to watch our girls grow.

Past week in review:

Wednesday 9/9:

Had a fun playdate with a little girl only 4 days older than G. We met in kindermusic in August 08 and have become close friends over the past year. Her Mom is having another baby in the next few weeks too. I love watching the girls play together--they are so different but are going through similar stages so it is really nice for her Mom and I to get together to vent/share/laugh.

Thursday 9/10:

G, Kand I had a fun morning with Grammy and then went to see Dr. Love. Daddy P and I were both kind of sad driving up to see Dr. Love because we thought it was going to be our last visit for a while and we've become accustomed to seeing him every other week for almost 2 years! We'll be seeing him again in a few weeks though--we've still got some tweaking to do with my blood pressure meds and since I'm nursing he's going to do that for the time being. The day went downhill quickly because I'd had a headache since the night before and though Dr. Love gave me a shot it didn't go away and we had to head to immediate care that night to get some more shots. No fun at all, but at least the headache went away. I felt like an Indian giver because I'd lent my pump to a friend--I HATE pumping and hadn't used it in weeks--telling her I never used it and had no need for it, and lo and behold less than a week later I had to call her at 8pm and ask for it back. I knew she had bought one, but felt bad none the less. She was so sweet and instead of having us come and pick it up brought it over to our house. At 8pm. May not seem like much to those of you without children, but she also has 2--a 2 y/o and at that time a 1 week old. Wow, thanks again J. This same friend and her husband also came to our house at 9pm the day we brought K home from the hospital to because we were worried about jaundice. Another Wow and thanks again J! We are blessed with sweet, wonderful and caring friends.

In case I don't say it often enough I have an AWESOME, AMAZING husband. While I slept Thursday night he did double duty with both of the girls. And they gave him a hard night. K, who usually sleeps for at least 5 hours in the night was up on and off and when she wasn't up G was. Seriously he would put one down and before he could get back in bed the other one was up. And he had to go to work the next day. I'm a lucky girl :)

Friday/Saturday/Sunday:

The weekend was wonderful. The girls and I LOVE having Daddy home with us all day. He is so much fun and helps me so much with the girls. I'm so lucky to have such a hands on husband. We had a run around day on Saturday. G got new shoes and LOVES them. G is a shoe girl to begin with, but these are big girl shoes and she REALLY LOVES them, like will wear no other shoes but them LOVES them. They are very cute, but are play shoes and don't go with every outfit, though they have this week. We are always sad when the weekend is over and Daddy has to go back to work

Monday:

Stay at home kind of day. It was nice and relaxing. G ate a big lunch and took a long nap. Grammy & Grampy provided dinner. Yum.

Tuesday:

May become an entry all to itself at some point :) I had to have a cardiac echo done, and the appt was scheduled for Tuesday at 8am. David had to teach a class, Grammy had to teach a class & Grampy had to be at school. What was I to do? Taking K was no problem, but taking an active toddler would be impossible. God has blessed us with super friends. I call P, the mother of M, who is only 4 days older than G and also very pregnant, and asked her if she could watch G, and she said yes without pause. So sweet. Not only was she willing to watch her, she was willing to watch her with less than a day's notice, at 7am, knowing G would cry. She was a saving grace to us Tuesday morning. Thank you so much P! She was also the first non family member to watch G (other than the MOPS nursery folks) Obviously I trust her a lot. (Which seems like an understatement because trusting her with G is like trusting her with my life )

Getting ready for Tuesday morning made me have a new appreciation and respect for working mothers. I don't know how they do it each and every day. I was so stressed out about getting out the door in the morning. I had to get up at 6 (after feeding K at 4 and going back to bed at 5) and then Daddy P and I got ourselves ready, and then got the girls ready. I packed up the diaper bags the night before, but it was a lot to do before 7am in the morning. How do you working mothers do it? You must be super organized.

My G girl did great with P & M and was a happy girl when I picked her up. From there we went to a La Leche League meeting. It was the first one I had been to and I loved it. I knew 2 of the girls there from church, but it was so nice to meet other nursing moms with a lot of the same philosophies as Daddy P and I. Instead of feeling like the odd parent out I felt like we were part of the norm.

Wednesday:

A pretty normal and relaxing day for us. Both the girls have been in a great mood this week and we've been having fun times.

Thursday (today):

Another early morning that had me wondering how mother's who work out of the home get out of the house every day. I took K and G to the Dr by myself for the first time. We just went in for a weight check on K. She is a much different nurser than G was at this age and with her reflux I was getting nervous that she wasn't getting enough. She is growing perfectly though. I had wanted to see our Lactation Consultant, B, but B is loved by all nursing mothers and was booked up so settled for a weight check, but got lucky and ran into her while K was being weighed. She reassured me that K was growing perfectly and had time for a little chat with G. Hard to believe we've known B since G was 4 days old! She is so amazing and back when I thought I would never be able to nurse (right after G was born) Daddy P and I thought about asking her to move in ;) She's been a wonderful source of support to us for the past 18 months and is always available to answer my questions when needed. I really don't know where we'd be without her so it was nice to have her assurance that K is thriving and not starving. Thanks B!

After that we headed to MOPS, which I love. The speaker was wonderful. She gave a great presentation which centered on putting your trust and faith in the Lord. I've been hearing that a lot the past week and been trying to do just that instead of just saying I was trusting in him. Putting my faith into action has helped me. It's hard for me to always trust in him and have faith, though it is easy for me to say I'm doing it, and this week I've really made the effort to have the faith and the trust and it's helped me. The speaker today felt like a message that was meant just for me and I'm going to keep having that faith and trust without doubts.

G did wonderfully in the nursery. The MOPS nursery is the only place G stays without me, other than with Daddy P or my parents and that is a testament to the caregivers there. They are super and have worked with G every time she's gone. She cried and clung to me today when I dropped her off, but then was happy the remainder of the time. That's a first for her, usually they say she goes back and forth between crying and being occupied, but today she was happy.

She was also very outgoing at Kindermusic tonight. David and I had so much fun watching her play and interact with her teacher and the books. She is growing up so fast these days.

I'll try to update with some new pictures in the next few days :)

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Life Tonight

Daddy working late.

G refused to nap...is teething...has a very runny nose...is super grumpy.

K wants to be nursed nonstop.

G has a BIG problem with K nursing tonight.

Put K down to nurse G.

K screams.

Cody needs to go out to potty.

G refuses to nurse and cries.

Put G down and pick up K to nurse her.

G tries to pry K out of my arms and off of her nursey--by her eye lids.

Try not to lose my temper with G & pray for patience.

Ask her to get a book for us to read while sister nurses.

K falls asleep.

Put her in bed.

Take bath with G.

Daddy comes home (albeit with a major leak in his car that will leave us a 1 car family for a while).

Yay!!!

Monday, September 7, 2009

My Growing Girl!

G 17 1/2 Months:

Is now doing somersaults! I really think she is going to be a gymnast the way she moves and climbs. She climbs on EVERYTHING. If I turn my back for a second she is on the coffee table, dining room table, the top of her car, etc... It's actually pretty scary for me. We're signing her up for gymnastics starting in October. Hopefully (maybe?) that will cut back on some of her household acrobatics.

Climbing on living room coffee table:

G's biggest accomplishment this month was picking out and putting on her own shorts!

Blue or Pink?

Pink with no diaper...

The no diaper part didn't work out so well...lol!
We were so proud of her for putting on shorts all by herself! She was proud too. I can't believe how big she is getting!

Saturday, September 5, 2009

It only takes a second

Today in a local store my Mother in Law (MIL) were talking while we walked to the check out line. We were both "helping" G push the cart. One second she was holding on to the cart below us. The next second my MIL says, "Where's G?" Those are the worst words I have ever heard.

I think my heart may have stopped for a second.

The next second MIL says, "There she is!" (by the chips about 2 feet from us) and picked her up.

I let her hold her for about a second then had to take her. My heart was in my stomach or somewhere else, all I know it was a horrible feeling.

How could I lose my G Girl...even for a second or less?

There are certain things I am very serious about and watching my children and having them near me is 1 of them. Daddy P and I both worked (he still does) at a Psychiatric Hospital. We know, better than most, the types of people that are out there. I'm not talking about people with depression, etc..., but the real crazies that walk the streets with the rest of us. I keep both my girls close to me at all times. They don't stay with people other than Daddy P or my parents. I say this in to show what a horrible shock to my system it was to not know where she was for even a second.

G didn't even know she was "missing" for that second. I was almost in a panic and she was as happy as could be.

I don't think I'll ever forget that one second.

These are the days...

Way back before I ever had kids I always said I wanted boys. Only boys. I felt that way up until our 14 week ultrasound when we found out G was G. From the moment the ultrasound tech said "It's a Girl", I wanted a girl.

I love having my 2 girls now. G has turned into a much smaller version of me. Apparently I am the coolest person in the world (to her) right now. I love it and I am going to enjoy it, because I don't think (though I can hope) it will last. Anything I do she wants to do or does. Some examples:
  • She holds a phone exactly like I do. I didn't know I held phones in the same way all the time (between my shoulder and my cheek) but apparently I do. This is how G holds any phone (or pretend phone) all of the time.
  • If I sigh or make any noise it gets repeated. (MUST WATCH LANGUAGE AT ALL TIMES NOW--not that I swear a lot, but the occasional swear word does pop out from time to time)
  • Things I drink she wants to drink. Case in point--I stopped drinking Diet Cokes while I was pregnant. I now drink several a day. I NEED the caffeine. G has picked up on this and wants to drink it to! Remember G ONLY drinks water and breast milk. She refuses anything else. I put a drop of juice in her water cup this week and she refused it. Now she wants to drink Diet Coke.

I can't think of any other examples right now, but I'll update the list as I do. It's getting to the point that I feel like G knows me better than anyone else! It's like we're in tune with each other. I'm not sure if this comes from me being a stay at home mother or if it has something to do with our parenting style (we use attachment parenting for the most part), whatever it comes from I'm enjoying it. I can't wait until G is a teenager and I can remind her of the days where she thought I was the coolest person in the world and she wanted to be exactly like me.

Don't they say that imitation is a form of flattery? In this case it definitely is.

Pictures by April Ingram Photography

The slide show in the previous post contains ALL of the pictures that April took during our photo session. I couldn't just pick a few to display, we love them all so much. April came over to our house on a sticky, rainy, mosquito infested day--not feeling well to boot-- and took some incredible pictures of our life. I love pictures like she takes. As she said, pictures that capture emotions rather than posed pictures. Someday many years from now Daddy P and I will look back and be able to remember that exact Saturday and all the emotions we were feeling. (Though I don't know if Daddy P will want to, LOL, as before April came over I was quite snappy.) Clicking April's name in the post will take you to her site, which has more of her awesome work!

Thanks so much April! Can't wait to do it again!

Thursday, September 3, 2009

A good laugh for you...

I haven't been feeling well this week. Not horrible, but not great and I thought I should mention it to Dr. Love. I called and left a message describing how I'd been feeling and get a call back from Dr. Love's nurse.

Dr. Love's responses to how I've been feeling:

Issue 1: Normal
Issue 2: Could be a virus
Issue 3: "Dr. Love thinks you should take a pregnancy test just to be sure"

WHAT??? My jaw just about hit the floor.

Me to L, Dr. Love's nurse:

"Um, L, I know I'm not pregnant." (At this point Daddy P who is standing near by says "WHAT???" and gets very interested in my conversation with L.)

L, "Are you sure?"

Me to L, "Unless it's an immaculate conception, I'm not pregnant."

Then we have lots of laughs and I ask L to remind Dr. Love that K is only 6 weeks old and I'm nursing, and not only am I nursing, but I'm nursing both K and G. More laughs.

What a difference a year makes

I've been feeling reflective the past few days. I look at G--she is such a big girl now and then look at K and think about how last year at this time G was still a pretty small baby. At this time last year G wasn't even 6 months old! She hadn't eaten any solid food. She still slept in a bassinet in our room--the very same bassinet that K is sleeping in now. It's amazing how much children grow in the first year. I have proof right in front of me each day. G and K are only 16 months apart (almost to the day) and when I think about G at this time last year and where she is now the differences are huge. Where will we be this time next year???

It was at this time last year that I met 2 of my good friends in G's kindermusic class. We went to the class not knowing anyone and came out of the class with 4 (counting the kids) very good friends. 2 Mom's and 2 girls. Last year at this time none of the 3 mom's (myself included) were thinking about having new babies(that I'm aware of :) --our girls were all babies or close enough. As I write this I have a 6 week old, one of the girls has a 2 day old and the other one is due in October. What a difference a year makes!!!