Recently there’s been a facebook game per say. Like someone’s post and they’ll give you a
number. That number indicates the number
of facts you disclose about yourself, supposedly things people don’t know about
you. I did a fb appropriate version of
this list, but have spent a lot of time thinking about things people may or may
not know about me. I was given the number
8.
All I ever dreamed about was being a stay at home Mom. I am living my dream right now, but next year
Stuart will go to preschool part time and I am not ready for it. I am not ready for this stage of my life to
be over. I love it. Everything about it. Even the poopy stuff, which there is a lot
of, in more ways than one ;) I feel like
I waited my entire life to be a stay at home mom, then blinked and it’s about
to be over. I know the kids will always
need me, but it will never be the same. I
would love to have more children, but don’t’ think Daddy P and I will. Bro keeps me on my toes with his airway
issues and I already feel guilty when I’m holding one child and another one
needs or wants me. The thought of being
done forever is heartbreaking for me though.
I am so blessed with the children I have, and I realize that, but I don’t
think I’m a woman who will ever feel done.
I wear flip flops year round. I hate wearing shoes other than them and I
think I’ve rubbed off on the kiddos, who I
often find barefoot—outside, in the car, K usually wants her shoes off
at school.
I am extremely insecure in certain aspects of myself.
I am constantly comparing myself to others
and seeing my inadequacies. I want to be
happy in my own skin, feel comfortable with how I present myself and my
beliefs, but these are all things I struggle with. I’ve gained weight since losing all my Bro
baby weight. I’m constantly judging
myself and feeling judged by others (who probably aren’t). I want to teach my girls just to be happy and
healthy, yet it’s something I struggle with on a daily basis.
I get jealous easily.
Little things, big things. I am
frequently reminding myself that the grass isn’t always greener on the other
side, and to appreciate everything I have, and simply giving thanks to God for
everything in my life. But. I envy.
Another Mom is in much better shape than I am, wish I had her body,
someone appears to have no debt and live extravagantly, wish I had money like
them, someone is always super organized, house clean and on the ball, wish I
could be all of those things, someone is having another baby, wish I was having
another baby. A year ago I was given a
huge wake up call when two different people, who appeared to have perfect lives (to me) , world’s came crashing down. I thought about how at that point they would
probably like to trade places with me.
It was a reality check that I frequently go back to.
I love baths. I don’t
like to sit in a tub for a long time, but I love to soak in the tub while the
water is running and bubbles are going. Apparently I passed this love down to
all my children,because whenever I try to sneak in a bath alone someone immediately
realizes it and manages to find me and jump right in.
I cannot keep up with laundry. There have been a few times (like less than
5) in the past several YEARS that I’ve managed to catch up with the laundry, but
those minutes were fleeting and more often than not there is a huge pile of
laundry visible in my house.
My dog will always be my first baby. People told me I wouldn’t love him the same
when I had my kids, and I don’t love him the same as them, but he is still my
baby. He still snuggles up in bed with
me. I didn’t think he’d ever love anyone
more than he loves me, but he does. He
is G’s dog now.
I fear the unknown, change and death of people I love. After working with people who were dying I
thought I understood death. Then my
Grandparents died and I realized I didn’t know anything about death and
grief. I understand the dying
process. It’s the recovery part that
really sucks.
I wish I could write the way I think things out. I always have great plans for blogging, but
they just don’t manifest in the same way I thought they would. I don’t blog for others, mainly for myself
and my children. Just to have a record of what our life was like. So there you have it. My 8 things.
