5 quick takes....

1.  I worry constantly about SIDS.  All of my children have slept on Angel Monitors (a breathing monitor) and though I didn't think it possible I worry more about bro than I did the girls.  He is a boy and he will not take a paci.  Boys are more at risk for SIDS and paci's reduce the risk.  If he is sleeping and not on the monitor I cannot sleep.

2.  I can't believe how fast these weeks are going by and am overwhelmed by how much I love my husband and my children.

3.  After G was born I immediately, and by immediately I mean the second I held her, KNEW I wanted more children.  I felt the same way after K was born and I feel the same way now, although for health reasons Dr. Love & Daddy P, not to mention Grammy & Grampy, have all spoken against it.  Maybe I'm just hormonal, but the thought of never being pregnant again makes me so sad.  I love being pregnant, health issues & all.  I love having babies, toddlers and a preschooler.  If I had uncomplicated pregnancies & a bit more in the finance department I'd have 10 or more children.  I love being a Mother, it's what I was born to do and I knew it the second I was pregnant with G.

4.  The year anniversary of our rushed trip to Massachusetts is coming up, as is the year anniversary of Kenny's death.  I think about this often and can't believe it.  I miss him so much it hurts and yet sometimes it doesn't seem real and then something happens that is a slap in the face reminder that he is gone from this world.  My Mom brought a box of his things back for us to go through.  She brought it back  8 months ago and my Mother, brother & I just went through it.  His clothes still smelled like him.  It was a hard thing to do and a huge reminder that he is gone.  I believe he was with us when bro was born though, protecting bro through the delivery and checking in on he & I afterwards.

5.  C-Sections are the pits.  I'm so thankful I was able to have one, because having one saved bro's life, but the recovery has been so difficult for me.  After the girls were born I was up & moving and back to myself right when we got home.  I'm still not moving well.  I'm still in pain.  I can't lift G or K.  G asks me, "Why did Dr. Love have to cut brother out of your tummy?" over 10 times a day, every day.  K follows me around and begs me to pick her up and hold her, "Pwease Mom, Pwease"  I don't know what I would do without Daddy P.  He's home and taking care of me, the girls, the house and everything else.