Dear World

Dear World,

Today I sent out two huge pieces of my heart, walking, talking, living, breathing pieces of me.  My babies that grew within me.  You don’t see them as I do, won’t take care of them as I do, to you they must seem like normal children, sometimes whiny, annoying, with sticky hands and noses filled with boogies and sometimes even wet pants or scrapped knees, but to me they are the precious bundles of joy that I brought home 4 & 5 years ago.  My babies.  It makes it easier knowing that I've sent them to a place filled with love, a place I can visit any time I like, where the teachers, other parents and most of the school staff have known them since birth.  A place where they've grown close to friends, and where they will only be separated by one wall, but it’s still hard.

I can’t count the times someone has said to me, “Don’t blink, they’ll be grown up”, and it is so very true.  Time has never passed so quickly since G was born.  Just the other day I was telling something that these last 5 years of my life have been the best ever, what I have wanted from the time I was a little girl, and yet the time is fleeting.  Soon Bro will be in school, and my years being a “SAHM” will be over.  I dread that time.  Sure there are days that I long for quiet or a break, time not to have to be on high alert about everything, but now, as I sit here in a quiet house, with no screams, giggles, cries or fights to settle I feel alone (even as Bro sits here nursing and sleeping in my lap), there will be no art projects making a sticky, glittery mess on my kitchen table, no massive tea parties (using real water of course), just me and Bro, to do and go as we please.  And while that may be easier than having all 3, I will be running to the store during daytime hours and not getting a massive headache, I will be folding laundry with no one jumping in it, I already miss my sweet G and my sweet K.

I’m off to fold my laundry, cry my tears and snuggle my sweet boy.

Be kind to my girls World.  They’re still in a safe circle of love and warmth and protection at their sweet school, but it’s not the same as Mommy’s care.