3 Months down...

Yesterday marked the 3rd month that has passed since Kenny died.  It's amazing to me that he's been gone 3 months.  It seems like such a long time since we were there and it really hasn't been.  3 1/2 months ago we were with him.  Laughing.  Crying.  Living.  Now he's gone.  I called my Grandmother a little while ago and got their machine.  Kenny's voice telling me to leave a message.  For a second I forgot he was gone.  It was so weird.  I listened to the message, which I normally don't do anymore, when the machine clicks on I hang up.  I wasn't ready to hear his voice.  Today I listened and forgot for a second.  I was ready to leave a message for him. 

I've been so blessed in my life.  Up until Kenny I had never had anyone close to me die.  No one in my family, no close friends.  It is a much different experience than I thought.  It was always easy for me to say "I'm sorry", but I never understood their grief.  Now I know it is a different process for each person, but for me it's been a difficult one.  "Grandparent" means different things to different people.  Kenny was my Grandfather, my friend, my confidant, not "just" my Grandfather.  I miss him in so many ways.

I find it comforting that my new lil bean & him are getting to know eachother right now though.

3 Months down...